


Finding Her Worth

by Gemology



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Geodes, Implied Sexual Content, Incubation, Master & Servant, Master/Pet, Master/Servant, Pregnancy, Tentacle Dick, geode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:49:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemology/pseuds/Gemology
Summary: I got feels over Yellow Diamond's Pearl from the latest ALWFH insert. So I wanted to explore what those mischievous Pearls might have been talking about and a little more about how Pearl might have been feeling.Please read the original fanfiction first for context! http://archiveofourown.org/works/4631184/chapters/29112738





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MamaButts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaButts/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Long Way](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631184) by [MamaButts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaButts/pseuds/MamaButts). 



She knew what she had been made for. She knew, from the moment she opened her eyes and saw her Diamond for the first time, what her purpose was. She was made perfect. As perfect as her Diamond. She was ready and willing to serve her master. To tend to her every whim. Pearl could not have been more thrilled with the life that had been chosen for her.

The three Diamonds met often, and so it wasn't long before Pearl found herself being fussed over by Blue Diamond. " _Perfect."_  she called her. Pearl knew it. But she had never been told so by her Diamond. It felt strange, that someone else should notice how special she was before her owner had. She felt a twinge inside, a little seed of doubt, and a voice in her mind whispered,  _not good enough_.

Pearl pushed such notions away. Of course she was good enough for her Diamond. She had been made for her. Her Diamond knew she was perfect. She didn't  _have_  to say so. Yet, Pearl found it nice to have that fact acknowledged. To hear it said aloud. To be reminded that she  _was_  good enough, without simply assuming it for herself.

She did not have time to dwell on such things, nor did she want to. She was ushered to join the other pearls belonging to White Diamond and Blue Diamond, and so she trotted over to the waiting pair. They had already begun to chat freely, but paused as the new arrival approached.

"Hello." Pearl said, tentatively. She shouldn't have been nervous. These pearls were her own kind. Should anything happen, her Diamond was still nearby.

The blue pearl ducked her head in acknowledgement, but the white one spoke up. "So you're the one White's been talking about."

"I suppose so." Pearl replied.

"Did you know, they never had Pearls before us? We're the very first. And  _My_  Diamond was the first to get a pearl. And then Blue Diamond got one after. Yellow Diamond wasn't interested for the longest time, but it seems the other Diamonds finally convinced her. Even when you were being made, Blue Diamond was more interested in your creation than Yellow Diamond was. Pearl was always telling me about it whenever we got together." White Diamond's Pearl might have talked on, had Yellow Diamond's Pearl not interrupted her.

"Not interested?" she chimed in.

"Oh, don't worry about that!" The white pearl reached over and clasped yellow hands in her own. "She has you now. And she seems to be just as smitten with you as our Diamonds are."

But Pearl  _did_  worry about that. The little seed from before sprouted, growing the tiniest bit larger. It was the ache of doubt she had felt earlier. She looked to her Diamond, staring for a moment. Hoping that she could glimpse some secret sign that she was wanted, after all. She had always felt that something had been off. Ever since the first day when her Diamond had asked what she was for. As if she didn't have any particular purpose in mind, but merely had her as some kind of trophy. Now she knew that before she had even taken her first form, before the first layer of calcium carbonate had been laid down for her creation, that she hadn't even been wanted in the first place.

"So how is it, being  _with_  your Diamond?" Blue Diamonds Pearl finally spoke up.

Pearl was glad for the distracting question from the other Pearl. Still, she couldn't help but feel that there was something curious about the way she asked the question. Something in the inflection that Pearl picked up on, but couldn't decipher its meaning. The two other pearls looked at her expectantly, as if some detailed answer awaited them. What could there possibly be to tell?

"It's wonderful serving her. Although-" she glanced back at her Diamond. She would never dream of speaking ill of Yellow Diamond, but at the same time, she felt the need to confide in her fellow pearls. After all, they had likely experienced many of the same struggles and could offer encouragement or advice. She lowered her voice, on the off chance that Yellow Diamond could hear them at all. "-sometimes it can be difficult to earn her approval."

"Proper service does take practice." The white pearl waved her hand dismissively. "Tell us what you've tried."

Pearl thought that was an odd prompt. Surely they had all been made for the same purpose? Granted, they were all unique and custom made for their Diamonds, but their duties were likely similar. Weren't they?

"Everything she requests of me, of course. Mostly menial tasks. Dictation, record keeping, balancing her schedule, correspondence. You know. The functions we were made for. It's not really significant. I shouldn't expect My Diamond to acknowledge every little job I complete." In reality, she wanted desperately to be noticed by her Diamond at every possible opportunity. Perhaps that was simply too demanding.

"She doesn't know what we're talking about!" The white pearl exclaimed, looking to Blue Diamond's Pearl. She apparently found this new found fact to be hilarious, because she stifled a laugh behind her hand.

If Pearl had seemed timid at first, she overcame shyness immediately the moment she felt she was being made fun of. She stomped her foot and clenched her fists at her sides, looking from one Pearl to the other with a scowl. At least the blue pearl did not seem to find humor in the situation. So Pearl turned her attention to the one that still had a shit eating grin on her face.

"What?!" she demanded.

White Diamond's Pearl raised her eyebrows and looked at the blue pearl next to her. As if coming to some kind of silent agreement between the two of them, she turned back to Pearl. Her voice hardly reached above a whisper as she leaned forward to be as close as possible when she said, "We're talking about  _sex_ , darling."

"Oh." Pearl's cheeks instantly flushed. Everything that had happened that morning, everything that had been said, all fell into place. It was troubling, that these other pearls had been able to assist their Diamonds with matters beyond routine duties. Yet she had not been asked to, and she didn't dare make the first move on such intimate affections.

She had thought about these things, of course. Ways in which she might be more useful to her Diamond. It never seemed to be the right time. There was never a point when Yellow Diamond indicated that she might desire her Pearl in a personal way. Pearl  _wanted_  to be able to care for her, to bring her Diamond the ultimate fulfillment. But it was surprising to the other pearls that she had not already partaken in these activities, and that same small root of apprehension made her uncertain of her usefulness.

"You were made to  _service_  her. We all were." Blue Diamond's Pearl broke the silence between the three of them.

"My Diamond must not require such frivolities." Despite her initial shock at the previous revelation, she strove to regain her composure. That was what her Diamond would want. She was always poised, and perfect, and no-nonsense. Surely she was expected to emulate her attitude.

"If that's what you choose to believe." The white pearl rolled her eyes, seeing right through Pearl's attempt to be nonchalant.

"What would you know about MY Diamond?" Pearl shot back.

That grin was back, the same one that had infuriated Pearl earlier. "Only that  _both_  our Diamonds desire such things and are grateful to us for providing a way to indulge in their proclivities. It's really wonderful! Nobody else on all of Homeworld would ever have the privilege." she looked to her Diamond dreamily, knowing that White Diamond would certainly want to relieve some stress and tension following this meeting with her fellow sisters.

Pearl crossed her arms and huffed. She didn't want to believe what the white pearl was saying. All this time, she had felt she was doing the best job that she could. She had felt that her troubles were likely shared by the other pearls, that they all struggled with trying to please the most perfect gems in the universe. But no. She was alone in all of it. All of her fears and doubts were culminating inside her, taking hold and lingering all too long.

White Diamond's Pearl spoke again. "There's no need to get upset. Your Diamond loves you. She  _wants_  to be with you."

Blue Diamond's Pearl wanted to add in her advice, too. "Start with a kiss. And if she doesn't kiss you back right away, do it again. Again and again, until she starts to relax. Sometimes it takes awhile, but she will be grateful for the distraction. The rest will come naturally to you both. Always listen to your Diamond. Be aware of her needs. And if she's especially pleased, she'll tend to yours, too."

Pearl had more questions, but the ruffle of clothing caught her attention as the three Diamonds stood, indicating that their meeting was over. The pearls briskly made their way back to the gems that they had been made for. The things that Pearl had learned were a whirlwind in her mind, but she hoped the knowledge she had acquired from the others would be invaluable in the near future.


	2. Chapter 2

The scenario the other pearls had described did not go at all like Pearl had expected. Perhaps she had been right all along, that her Diamond did not need the primitive pleasures of the flesh. What did that white pearl know about  _her_  Diamond anyway? She had had the instinct to leave well enough alone and to bury her own desires in order to efficiently serve her Diamond. But she had received encouragement from the others, and so had decided to ignore her better judgement and try out their suggestion. The result was not pleasant.

"I tried what you said." she whispered to the other pearls when they had all been able to gather together again for the next meeting of the Diamonds.

"Did you?" Curiosity was evident in the white pearl's voice.

"I did! And as expected, My Diamond does not wish for such gratifications, as your Diamonds do." she smirked, the knowledge of being right bringing her immense satisfaction.

"Are you sure you did it right? It was your first time, after all." White Diamond's Pearl was skeptical of Pearl's words.

"I went to kiss her, just as you suggested. Before I even got the chance, she demanded to know what I was doing. I shouldn't have been surprised. She was so close I could almost taste her but… She seemed  _repulsed_  at the very notion." Pearl almost let her imagination get the best of her, but pushed down the intrusive thoughts, lest she be tempted to act on her inclinations.

"Are you positive?" The white pearl prompted.

"Yes! She was very insistent that such acts were unwanted." Pearl was growing tired of the rapid fire questions being thrown at her. It was like neither of them believed her, even though they hadn't been witnesses to the abrupt response from her Diamond. Still, the two persisted.

"Do you do everything she asks of you?" The blue pearl asked quietly.

"Yes, of course!" Pearl answered energetically.

"Do you ever question her?" The white pearl prompted.

"No, never!" Her eyes went wide.

"Are you always by her side? Do you ever stray?" Blue Diamond's Pearl asked.

"Where would I go?" Pearl answered, as if the very idea was ludicrous.

"Maybe she doesn't think you're perfect." The white pearl said, nonchalantly.

Something twisted in Pearl's gut. She glanced back at her Diamond, who was far too busy to notice. She was the picture of perfection. The most flawless gem on Homeworld, even above the other Diamonds. Her hand brushed over her own gem, trying to find the flaw. She was made for Yellow Diamond. She was supposed to be perfect, too. But something was wrong with her. Something that made her different than White Diamond and Blue Diamond's pearls. It ate her up inside and made her feel almost sick, if gems could have felt such a thing.

It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she'd be shattered if she displeased Yellow Diamond. It was far more tortuous to be alive and not be able to properly serve her Diamond. To serve her Diamond was her sole purpose. And if she couldn't do so, she felt empty. Unfulfilled. Useless. She needed to feel needed, just as all pearls did.

But the way the other pearls talked, perhaps she was not needed. Maybe she was only around because Yellow Diamond had succumbed to the pressure from her sisters to join their latest fad. Was she really nothing more than a prize to tote around? She could accomplish so much! She was smart and skilled and mirrored much of the prowess of her Diamond. Why didn't Yellow Diamond want her?

She had heard the stories from the other Diamond's pearls about how their owners had reacted. White Diamond had looked down at her fresh faced Pearl, all shiny and new, and smiled. From what Pearl had heard, she hardly ever smiled. Not even when she was pleased with her court did she give them such a rare gift. And even Blue Diamond had fawned over her until she got a pearl of her own.

Blue Diamond had been immediately ecstatic. Her Pearl said it was almost too much excitement all at once. One moment she was nestled comfortably in her oyster, trying to take everything in, and the next she was right up against Blue Diamond's gem. It was warm and familiar, even though she had only just barely opened her eyes for the first time. Being there, so close to her Diamond, felt like a home she didn't even know she wanted until she'd found it.

Pearl thought back to the day when she had been presented to Yellow Diamond. Looking up at that gorgeous face, knowing that she belonged by her side for as long as she was needed. Yellow Diamond didn't scowl, but neither did she smile. Her expression remained as unreadable as ever. She did not emulate the same comforting feeling that the other pearls had described. Pearl had thought nothing of it at the time, not even when Yellow Diamond had asked, "What are you supposed to do?"

There was something different that flowed between the other pearls and their diamonds. A warmth that radiated from them. It was evident in the ways that they interacted, even for the brief moments that Pearl had seen in these meetings. They had something that she didn't, some kind of relationship that went far deeper than any other gem could hope to reach with their Diamond. Pearl could see it, but she didn't know how to achieve it.

"If you really were any good, your Diamond would want you." The white pearl meant to imply that she was speaking in a purely sexual sense, but Pearl took it much harsher.

Every time she doubted herself, the tangle of what felt like vines twisted around inside her. All of her fears fed the growing apprehension, and her worries grew over and around each other until her stomach was in knots. She was made to be useful. She craved orders and the ability to unquestioningly serve her Diamond. She wanted so badly what the others had.

"We love to please, and they love to receive. It's really quite simple. Maybe you just aren't up to the task." White Diamond's Pearl carried on, seemingly ignoring the pained expression on the yellow pearls face.

"How can I make her want me?" Pearl ventured.

"If the kiss didn't work, I have no idea. Diamonds  _always_  want to be  _with_  their pearls, even for more time than they should reasonably spare." White Diamond's Pearl shook her head apologetically. "I do hope you figure it out soon. We like having you around. It would be a shame to have you replaced, especially when you haven't even been around for a few centuries yet."

The offhanded comments of the other pearls haunted her long after the meeting was over. She wanted to be good. She wanted to be the best. She worked hard and attended to every need of her Diamond the instant she was asked. She did not stray or waver, and remained fully devoted at all times to her master. But no matter what she tried, no matter how much she wanted to ignore how she felt towards Yellow Diamond, she could not stifle the feelings that bubbled to the surface every time she so much as looked at her perfect, beautiful, illustrious Diamond. The anguish of not being able to touch her was almost too much to bear.


	3. Chapter 3

Yet again Pearl found herself in the company of the other Diamonds and their pearls. The initial excitement she had felt the first couple of times she had met with the others of her same gemkind had faded. No longer did she enjoy the visits with her fellow pearls. They were always a reminder of how not good enough she was. Every meeting she was reminded that all her efforts did not amount to the things the other pearls got to do with their Diamonds.

She listened while the others chatted about how well they were pleasing their Diamonds. Exchanging tips and pointers for the other to try the next time they were intimate with their master. All Pearl could do was stand nearby and feel glum. She wasn't any good. She didn't know how to be better and it gnawed away at her, as if something was squirming around inside that was going to tear her apart at any moment. She wished it would, so she wouldn't have to endure this ache.

She searched her Diamond for what was the matter. Day after day she wondered and worried. What more could she do? How could she earn her favor, as the other pearls had done with their Diamonds?

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair that it had come so easily to them. All they had had to do was follow their instincts. Do what they were made for. They made advances to their Diamonds, and in return, had received smiles and praise and formed an unbreakable bond that no other gem could ever dream of achieving.

Yet when Pearl had tried, she had been reprimanded. She was treated as if she had done something wrong. Maybe she had. Maybe she did nothing right and her Diamond simply humored her. Perhaps the other pearls were right, that if she was any good she would be allowed to treat her Diamond, to be with her and pleasure her in the way that only pearls were permitted to.

Her Diamond was perfect.

She was not.

She didn't know where, but something inside her - or perhaps even outside - was amiss. Something that displeased her Diamond. Something that made her undesirable. The way the other pearls talked, about how loving and compassionate their Diamonds could be, and how happy they were to have been chosen by them. Pearl wanted that desperately, but no matter what she tried that fantasy always seemed out of her reach. She had given up, and resigned herself to the fact that she was not fated to be the perfect Pearl that Yellow Diamond had been expecting. She was tolerated, but not truly desired. At least she had been gifted with the privilege to reside in the presence of Yellow Diamond, for however long her existence lasted.


	4. Chapter 4

Oh, but the look on Pearl's face the next time the Diamonds met. It had finally happened! With a bit of coaxing from her fellow sisters, Yellow Diamond had finally let down her guard and allowed herself to be affectionate with her Pearl, for what seemed like the first time ever. She couldn't wait to spill every bit of their encounter to the White Diamond and Blue Diamond's pearls.

It was romantic, in a way. Yellow Diamond had left her entire court behind on Homeworld, ensuring that she and her Pearl would be left completely alone, without any interruptions or distractions. No one else to bear witness, not even anyone around to  _hear_  what the two were up to. At long last, Pearl's efforts had been rewarded. She knew what it was like to become one with her Diamond. To experience her to the fullest.

And she really did experience her to the fullest.

As soon as she revealed her accolade to to the other pearls, all of her waiting become worth it. To see the jealousy and wonderment on their faces. To know that even if she was not the first Pearl of the Diamond court, she was still the first to be allowed to incubate with the mineral rich fluid of one of the most powerful and perfect gems on Homeworld. This prize was all hers, and she knew without any doubt that she deserved it.

Now, the other two pearls were covetous of what she had. They all desired a geode all their own from their Diamonds. Pearl was simply beaming, knowing at long last that her Diamond wanted her. She was a perfect little Pearl. She should never have insinuated that she was anything but. Yellow Diamond would want nothing less than perfection in her court at all times, and Pearl was certainly no exception. How she could have ever thought anything had gone amiss during her creation, she didn't know.

The feelings of affection and adoration that Pearl felt for her Diamond were stronger than ever. Getting her incubating was something she would have never hoped to dream, but that she would be forever grateful for. She finally had something to show off to White Diamond and Blue Diamond's pearls, and their rebuttals would be forever hushed.

Pearl had everything she could ever want. Not just the envy of the other pearls. It was the love from her Diamond that truly mattered. She would never again be able to question her value, to be apprehensive of her necessity. No, Yellow Diamond needed her just as much as she needed her Diamond. That was crystal clear now.

Hosting the progeny of a Diamond was previously unheard of, but the honor was hers, and hers alone. No gem on all of Homeworld would ever be able to take that away from Pearl. She swelled with pride and satisfaction, knowing that the symbol of their deeds was displayed prominently for all to see. She belonged to Yellow Diamond, truly belonged, and had at least found her rightful place by her side.


End file.
